栏目:幽默故事 作者:草屋文章网 时间:2012-05-04 点击:

杏彩娱乐在哪注册 www.mdn39.com.cn One hot summer day a fox was walking through an orchard. He stopped before a bunch of grapes. They were ripe and juicy.

  "I'm just feeling thirsty," he thought. So he backed up a few paces, got a running start, jumped up, but could not reach the grapes.

  He walked back. One, two, three, he jumped up again, but still, he missed the grapes.

  The fox tried again and again, but never succeeded. At last he decided to give it up.

  He walked away with his nose in the air, and said“I am sure they are sour.”







1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.


老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?




2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.


"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."


9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问。

"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.






Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."


“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱??赡阄裁炊阅俏焕咸敲锤行巳つ??”

Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝;巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似;类似

我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。

I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。


A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"



Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.


Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?


Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.


Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his sleep)呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了。


He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.


-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

-- 墓地守墓人。


Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."




英语笑话(四)my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.






英语笑话(五)Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.


-- 服务员,


-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。

-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语笑话(六)The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"





上一篇:幽默笑话小故事   下一篇:老婆的红袜子
  • 更多推荐文章…
  • 草屋,总有一篇文章或故事让你感动~~
  • 你可能喜欢的故事
    草屋版权所有 Copyright © 2007-2017 杏彩娱乐在哪注册 www.mdn39.com.cn All Rights Reserved
  • 江苏法院庭审网络直播成常态 2019-02-20
  • 在习近平新时代中国特色社会主义思想指引下——新时代新气象新作为 2019-02-20
  • 共同的根共同的魂共同的梦共同书写中华民族发展新篇章 2019-02-19
  • 珍贵!“国宝”林麝现身重庆金佛山 2019-02-19
  • 刘树成:中国进入新一轮经济周期 2019-02-19
  • 陈文玲:中国在未来更高水平的开放将造福全人类 2019-02-18
  • [大笑]一群老蚕的小萌们想阻挡大势?没门儿! 2019-02-18
  • 外媒热议习近平讲话:中国军队现代化速度超越西方想象 2019-02-17
  • 姜文彭于晏廖凡“硬核三人组”相遇 2019-02-17
  • 2018年成都卫星城市仍将大放异彩?下一站:资阳北 ——凤凰网房产成都 2019-02-17
  • 临汾市招商引资推介会在曲沃举行 2019-02-16
  • 省国资委党委中心组召开理论学习扩大会议 2019-02-16
  • 候选案例:碧桂园沪苏一对一帮扶基金 2019-02-16
  • China focus Landmark two sessions set course for new era 2019-02-15
  • 你才是邪眼看世界,把三国中的文字看作了水浒的文字[微笑] 2019-02-15
  • 802| 334| 659| 809| 630| 854| 674| 935| 89| 862|